St Petersburg’s Hermitage Museum has confirmed through an
official, Boris Sapunov, that the middle section of one of their
icons depicting Christ, seemingly painted by an apprentice, has
‘a negative bio-field’. Not just a case of inferior work,
apparently, but a malevolent energy field. Mr Sapunov, from the
Russian section at the Hermitage, recalled that three or four staff
working in the vicinity of the icon had died having previously complained
of high blood pressure, headaches and an inexplicable sickness.
Dr Vyacheslav Gubanov, a physician in St Petersburg, has researched
the icon subsequently, and claims its etheric power has the effect
on human brains of creating a high level of ‘vibrations’.
In Gubanov’s opinion, the icon was, most likely, ‘…
meant for the elite, not for the common people’. So, a selective
killer? Well, er … nyet. A colleague of Mr Sapunov, Alexandra
Kostsova, said that, in fact, only one of the workers in contact
with the icon died, and that was as a result of cancer. There might,
however, be other questions to consider. Did those in the vicinity
of the icon rely on mobile phones, which can also upset the delicate
process of the brain?
Anyway, the curators and workers were moved away from the icon,
whereby the problem ceased. But it is just the sort of problem with
icons that the late, lamented Christies’ expert on icons, Johnny
Stuart, might readily have solved, had he still been around. Other
questions do arise. Could not the icon be sent overseas on permanent
loan? So massive a field of negativity must now exist at the Baghdad
Museum that perhaps the mysterious icon could usefully counteract
the problems there, negating the Mesopotamian vibrations, not all
of which may be bio-spheric, and many of which may be the effect
of spasmodic locally induced explosives in origin. Or might Damien
Hirst get involved — putting right the apprentice’s mistakes?
